And then a bombshell: Jani returned a positive test for a banned substance at the end of 2018, something which was later attributed to a meal replacement supplement he had been using. The haters rubbed their hands in glee – great, another one of "them" has been caught! Go get him! Burn him at the stake, make an example out of him and chuck him out of the sport. Another rider assigned to the proverbial scrap heap so to speak, another statistic, another "bad" guy.
But a human being all the same.
Mention the name Janez Brajkovič to cycling aficionados and excessively long training rides and lack of nutrition will likely come to mind. A former star prospect with teams like Discovery Channel, Astana and Bahrain – Merida would be a likely description. And while this pigeonholing is fairly accurate, it only scratches the surface. You see, Jani's identity is starting to change.
Since the dark days of early 2019, the Slovenian rider has literally picked himself up and dusted himself off. Shortly after his backdated doping suspension was announced, Jani published a raw blog post detailing his long battle with a chronic eating disorder. Beautifully written, his deadpan, riveting and insightful pen caught many off guard. Did professional cycling – or professional sport as whole – really have such a serious problem, many thought? Was it possible that our cycling heroes had inner demons so deep that they hated themselves inside, asked others? Well, yes, actually. Jani's blog post and subsequent media interviews shed light on a whole subculture that most couldn't – or wouldn't - fathom.
More importantly perhaps was that Jani's voice was out there. A regular fixture on podcasts and websites for an extended period thereafter, his narrative was both recurring and consuming. He was both outspoken and articulate, and didn't seem afraid to air his opinions. Thanks to Jani, the media was finally exposing an unacknowledged dark underbelly of professional sport. And then, after a while, it all went quiet. It seemed like Jani had said his piece and that was that. The dust had settled. Move on to the next story, it seemed, as the cycling media reverted to business as usual: race results, analysis and – dare I say – relatively bland rider interviews.
Absent from racing in 2021 and save for the odd social media post, it seemed that Jani had dropped off the radar.
Which begs the question:
Where the hell is Jani Brajkovič?
+++++
'Hey man, I'm riding now. I'll be back home in a few hours. I've been super busy with school, coaching and studying. I can talk when I'm back if you are free.'
It's early February 2022 and, as he attests to, Jani Brajkovič is a busy man. He is spending a week in Gran Canaria, a proverbial cycling heaven for those looking to escape the European winter. And while he is riding his bike daily, Jani is not actually attending a pre-season training camp.
'I guess you could call it a training camp but I'm really here on a short vacation with my son and doing some riding. While I am on the roster for a Serbian registered Continental team for 2022, it's unlikely that I will do any racing this year. The deal is more for me to help them out with my experience and guide the riders. But the main difference between now and, say, two years ago is that I no longer feel the need to race. Back then, I was still addicted to cycling and literally had to race, had to be on a team. My life is different now, though. I've got a lot more going on.'
It is a fact that many professional athletes battle with retirement. After dedicating the bulk of their life to a career of high performance, the transition to civilian life is often met with trepidation, if not downright fear. And while Jani has battled through his own life changes over the past few years, he is not afraid to offer his own candid views on the difficulties riders face in the autumn of their cycling careers.
'One of the hardest things for a cyclist to bear at the end of their career is the loss of identity,' he explains. 'Nothing can prepare one for that. Most riders don't have anything else other than cycling when they retire and they feel empty. I felt the same – even though I had other options with my owning a bike shop and coaching athletes, I was still terrified at the prospect of no longer racing. Even though I had achieved a lot in the sport, I still felt empty. Plus I couldn't communicate with people, let alone my family.
'Being an extreme introvert, I've always felt awkward and uncomfortable around others,' he continues. 'So much emotional trauma has been suppressed deep inside me. But I always had the bike to help me escape. Plus I had already made peace with the fact that my eating disorder would eventually kill me. That much is true. But I started noticing that my kids were becoming like me, non-communicative and reclusive. And that was scary. So on the advice of a cycling friend in 2020, I was introduced to AEQ. I was literally blown away after the first session. AEQ quite literally saved my life.'
Developed by Aleš Ernst, the AEQ Method is an advanced form of somatic therapy used to enhance self-awareness and manage chronic muscle contraction. By tapping into an individual's subconscious through various breathing exercises and fascial release techniques, Ernst's unique method of healing is intended to be both physically and psychologically therapeutic. And it was this very work on his own mind-body connection that helped steer Jani in a new and revitalised life direction. In short, he wants to help professional riders by being someone whom they can comfortably confide in.
'There is nobody qualified in pro cycling to address the emotional issues that so many riders face. I can tell you that when I was on World Tour teams, at least six riders out of a squad of 30 had serious eating disorders. And another 50% had a compromised relationship with food. Many of them had mental health issues too. But the team management doesn't want to acknowledge mental problems and disordered eating. Most of them are ex-riders who had similar problems and were raised even more harshly. They'd rather ignore the symptoms because once you address these sorts of issues you open a can of worms. So the riders tend to bottle up their emotions and this negatively affects their performance. They need somebody to talk to.'
Case in point the 2020 edition of the Giro 'd Italia. Held later than normal owing to the COVID-19 pandemic, Jani cites the example of a friend of his in a top team who wanted to abandon during the first week. He was battling, not only physically, but also psychologically, and was close to throwing in the towel.
'He is a decent rider but was lacking confidence,' Jani recounts. ‘So we started to talk over the phone each evening for about an hour. Just general chat. By the end of the second week, this guy was the second best rider in his team and was then climbing in the front group in the final week. Without talking, he would have been just surviving in the grupetto each day.'
So with his continuing education and willingness to help out his friends in the peloton, does Jani see a more official role for himself in professional cycling?
'Yes,' he says emphatically, although with a little caution and realism. 'Look, I do not see myself as being a sports director. But I would like to be a bridge between the riders and the management, simply because I understand the way both parties think. Riders are under pressure to perform in order to retain their contracts; management are under pressure from sponsors for the team to perform. It's a vicious circle. What I've learnt through my own experiences and now with studying AEQ, though, is that the greatest improvement in athletic performance is through the mind. Riders are afraid of opening up about their own mental health issues to team doctors because there is no confidentiality. And I feel that I could assist them with that.'
While Jani admits that he has no offers from top flight teams to get involved, he has an opportunity to start helping riders through his role with Ferei - CCN Metalac. It's a start of something that he hopes to grow in the coming years. In the meantime, though, there is a lot to do. His days are full and, more importantly, he is the happiest he has ever been.
'My studying AEQ has taught me about the importance of balance and purpose,' he enthuses. 'You know, I always studied when I was a rider but not necessarily for the right reasons. Like when I enrolled in a nutrition course, it was to find out ways to compensate for my eating disorder. Now I'm studying for the right reasons. So my days are busy with a combination of talking to my coaching clients, studying AEQ and one other online course and a couple of hours on the bike. The rest of the time is spent with my family. I've changed so much in the last two years but for the better. I'm happy, satisfied and motivated. Life these days is so much better.'
